Someone at work recently told me that the option to get flavoring in your Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee is a good idea, and something I should try. I thought, you know, that must be true, a little bit of sugary delicious flavoring can't be a bad thing, it would only make it better.
True or False: The "flavor shot" makes Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee better.
Answer: FALSE.
Dunkin Donuts flavoring is perhaps the most vile chemical sweetener I have ever experienced - and believe me, I've consumed a lot of chemically sweetened foods/beverages in my day (mmmmm...)
I got one less spoonful of sugar in the coffee figuring the "French Vanilla" flavoring would make up for it.
It tasted like someone put acetone in my coffee. I'm not kidding.
If you don't know me (which you mostly do), I will consume ALMOST anything, no matter how gross it is, if I paid for it. Because a) I hate wasting food, and b) I hate wasting food that I spent money on. If it seems like a good idea, and tasty enough to pay for, then I will bare with my decision and devour whatever it is that I purchased. Usually very quickly (see: devour). It's like tearing off a bandaid. The only time I refuse to finish something is if it is so foul that it will more than likely make me vomit.
I stopped drinking that iced coffee about 70% of the way through. I just couldn't do it. (Goodbye $0.68; Goodbye pride; Goodbye dignity).
I don't understand how that French Vanilla flavoring was so bad! Is it because we here in America hate French people, and want to give them a bad name by making a flavor called "French Vanilla" and then making it taste like vanilla extract mixed with windex? I think that might be the reason.
So, instead of being angry at Dunkin Donuts, around the time of the 4th of July -the day marking our Great Nation's independence from those limey bastards across the Atlantic - I am proud of DD. Proud of Dunkin Donuts for being a patriotic company, based in America (with approximately zero American employees nationwide..) that really wants to stick it to those other, lesser, countries. I don't even need to try Dutch Mocha, English Toffee, or Japanese Eel flavoring now - I can rest assured knowing those are terrible too.
Because Dunkin Donuts loves America.
And I do, too.
(Until next time.)
P.S. 41 Days 'til Camp
5 comments:
you love america almost enough to be able to live in that house we saw today with all the americn flags :)
i meant to write this earlier but forgot...great post. this makes up for your other shitty posts. Beer me another post
This is what that flavor shot was made of:
Water, Glycerin, Propylene Glycol, Natural & Artificial Flavors, Caramel Color.
Yum, propylene glycol!! You may be pleased to know that it is also used as a base ingredient in aircraft deicing fluid and some automobile antifreezes. See Wiki for more on that.
I agree.
I hate Dunkin Donuts!
beer me another post as well
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